SNL Real-Time Review – Surprisingly, Fox Didn’t Sux

Star Wars was a good movie...

Gaddafi Cold Open
Fred Armison’s portrayal of the Libyan leader isn’t difficult, but that doesn’t make the jokes about his UN ramblings any less funny.

New Opening Footage
Wow.  There’s not too many ladies there anymore.  But the lovely Abby Elliott looked lovely.

Megan Fox’s Monologue
Not too bad.  Mostly due to my having low expectations.

Fake Bladdivan Commercial
As a victim of chronic shy-bladder syndrome, I found this bit a bit easy.  Squirt guns? In a commercial about peeing?  Hilarious, right?

Real Starbucks Via Commercial
Can’t believe they brought up town hall shouters already…

Real Oreo Commercial
Yay for Darrell Hammond getting to spoof Donald Trump in Donald Trump’s presence!  Boo Eli Manning, for no reason.  Albeit I still gotta give him props for toppling Tom Brady.

Bad News Flight Attendants
Opened funny, via Abby and Andy Samberg. Maintained absurd humor throughout.  Liked Megan’s performance.  Plus, the return of the Kristen Wiig Counter: 1

Russian Brides
Svetlana and Katya are the brides-to-be. Svetlana is played by Fred; Katya is played by Megan.  Svetlana is $10 cheaper.  Will Forte has a hard time deciding between the two.  I decided it was comical enough.

Digital Short
Weird mismatched couple’s date is, um, weird.  But I’m beginning to think Megan has talent.  Not a classic by any means, but the performances elevated it to smile-worthy.

Grady Wilson’s Burning Up the Bedsheets
Kenan Thompson’s first appearance is a bit lewd.  Surprisingly lewd.  But surprisingly silly, to the point that I did laugh.

U2’s First Performance
Does their longevity in the music industry have to do with their talent, or the fact that l33t became mainstream through IMing, texting, and now Tweeting?

(SIDENOTE: I just noticed the 35 in SNL’s logo.  Man, Lorne Michaels must be old.)

Weekend Update
It’s strange to watch this without Amy Poehler, especially since she was there on Thursday… Kristen still impresses the hell out of me with her Judy Grimes… just-kidding.  Wiig Counter: 2

Live Lounge
Spoof of modern phone sex lines that’s spot-on AKA easy. Wiig Counter: 3

U2’s Second Performance
…is background noise to me right now.  I just was trying to update my iPhone so it would have MMS (pictures in text messages), and it crashed and had to restore – to an earlier backup!  I need to figure out how to get back a bunch of shit I bought!

Biker Chick Chat
New girl’s skit.  New Wayne’s World? Probably not.  DID SHE JUST SAY FUCKING?!  Rewind.  YES!  At least we know it’s live… Wiig Counter: 4

Digital Short (another one?)
Optimus Prime is Megan’s roommate.  Or is he?  Best skit of the night.  Save doucheBAG… BAG = Brian Austin Green Not a coincidence, me thinks…

Your Mom Talks to Megan Fox While You Finish Getting Ready
Probably how it would go down in real life. Kristen sells it, as usual, and increases her Wiig Counter to 6.  Wait, it’s only 5? Slow night.  But conversely, Megan was in almost all – a rarity for hosts, it seems, and amazingly, she’s held her own

FINAL DECISION: Not as strong as last season’s John Malkovich’s episode, but better than most.  Why is Bono swinging around on a microphone?  And how much is new girl’s fricking FUCK gonna cost?

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SNL Real-Time Review – Five Voices, One Rock

Dwayne Johnson, who I believe is no longer obligated to be called The Rock, hosted tonight’s show in anticipation of Race to Witch Mountain (witch looks awesome!)

Here are the skits and five people’s opinions of them:

COLD OPEN – The Secretary of Treasury talks about the failure of our economy.  $420 billion goes to the individual that can solve the banking crisis problem.

1. Chris – “Can I fast forward this skit?”
2. Venessa (who laughed at insurance companies insuring houses that are on fire comment, for some reason) – “She thinks Tracey Jordan’s theory from 30 Rock works – Panic!”
3. Richie – “Not funny.”
4. Jess – No comment.  Kept getting up to check on her microwaved Chinese food.
5. Sean – “I laughed… enough.”

OPENING MONOLOGUE

1. Chris – “Really?  This is his third time?”
2. Jess – “He looks too skinny.”
3. Venessa – “Yeah, it makes his head looks to big.”
4. Richie – “His neck’s still huge, though.  And what’s with that tattoo?”
5. Sean – “Yay!  Abby Elliott!  And who’s that chick on the far left?”

MACGRUBER (Part 1)

1. Venessa – “Yes, MacGyver!”
2. Jess – (possibly passed out)
3. Richie – “He’s from Detroit.”
4. Chris – “Fast forward through the commercials.”
5. Sean – “Yay! Abby Elliott!”

PRESIDENT OBAMA “GET ANGRY”

1. Venessa – “The Rock Hulk!” (she enjoyed it the most)
2. Jess laughed (she did not pass out) – “He looks like a vampire.”
3. Chris – “Is.  Barack Obama.  That easy.  Of an.  Impression.  To do.”
4. Richie laughed throughout, but not continuously
5. Sean – “Wiig Counter: 3″

MACGRUBER (Part 2)

1. Venessa – “Look how hideous he is.”  (in reference to Richard Dean Anderson)
2. Chris – “It’s okay.”
3. Jess is fading out
4. Richie – “It was kind of funny… the whole daddy’s issue thing.”
5. Sean – “Yay! Abby!  Wiig Counter: 4″

ACTIVIA WITH JAMIE LEE CURTIS

1. Chris – “I love Kristen Wiig.”
2. Venessa – “She’d shit all day.” (in reference to coffee, cigarettes, and Activia intake mentioned by Abby)
3. Venessa (laughing) – “Take Number 2.”
4. Richie laughed at the yawning/pooping reference
5. Sean – “Jess passed out.”

HAWAIIAN SKIT

1. Chris – “He looks really thin there.”  (in reference to Brian Moynahan this time)
2. Venessa – “Sean’s blogging and not drinking his forty.”
3. Sean – “I’m doing both.”
4. Richie laughed at the “I got lei-d” comment.  Venessa – “Not funny.”
5. Chris – “Is she (Abby) going to be in every skit?”
6. Venessa – “I hope so.”
7. Sean drank his forty

MACGRUBER (Part 3)

1. His dad’s a friggin’ butthole line in the song made everyone laugh.
2. Sean drank his forty.
3. Venessa – “Can they show butts on TV?”
4. Sean – “They showed his butt a couple weeks ago.”

RAY LAMONTAGNE SINGS

1. Venessa – “Have I heard of this guy?”
2. Sean – “He’s on the River.”
3. Venessa – “Grrr… satellite radio!  I loved the River!”
4. Chris wanted to fast-forward, but Richie and Venessa wanted to keep watching, so we did

WEEKEND UPDATE

1. Venessa – “That’s so true.” (in reference to AIG building a $15 billion toilet to flush $15 billion down it)
2. Sean – “That’s just like the Cartman swearing bit in the South Parkmovie.” (re: zapper on the RNC spokesman Michael Steele’s head, at 1:15 mark)
3. Richie and Venessa really enjoyed “Cathy” bit… Jess and Chris chimed in when Justin Timberlake appeared
4. Sean – “I didn’t even know Cathy was married in the comics.”
5. Sean – “Was that Jessica Biel playing Jessica Rabbit?”
6. Richie and Venessa liked D.O.A./Denny’s joke and burning green Escorts jokes… a lot, as well as Bon Jovi opposite band: Jon Bovi (they sing “Alive and Dead,” for example)
7. Richie – “Jon Bovi was the best thing yet.”

GAME TIME WITH DAVE AND GREG

1. Venessa  – “He’s an alien all right!” (in reference to Greg speaking funny)
2. Laughs were shared by all.
3. Sean drank his forty.
4. Venessa – “That’s true!” (when a caller said Greg didn’t age in his pictures)
5. Sean – “That was pretty good.”
6. Venessa – “That was stupid.”

DONALD TRUMP/CELEBRITY APPRENTICE NBC COMMERCIAL

1. Venessa pointed at Sean in reference to Trump saying he hit high marks in the 35 douchebag demo
2. Sean – “I haven’t watched it… yet.”
3. Sean – “Who’s Fred Armison supposed to be?”
4. Venessa – “I don’t know.”

RAY LAMONTAGNE SINGS AGAIN

1. Venessa – “I liked him so much I’ll watch him again.”
2. Richie – “He has a very unique voice.”
3. Sean – “I gotta pee real quick.”
4. Chris has officially passed out… snoring
5. Richie – “What time does the time change?”
6. Venessa – “2am.”
7. Jess (stirring) – “That sucks.”

LIGHTHOUSE OPERATORS

1. Venessa enjoyed the splashing water on the shipwrecked victims
2. Venessa also predicted the Clapper being installed in the lighthouse
3. Sean – “Wiig Counter: I lost count.”
4. Chris snored more.
5. Sean - “I can’t believe they referenced a BJ.”

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon – A First Episode Review

Jimmy Fallon started his hosting gig of the Late Night last night, and it started off with a guest appearance by Conan O’Brien cleaning out his dressing room.  It made me laugh and it was a good start.  Favorite joke:

Fallon: So, uh, you getting Jay’s old dressing room?

Conan: Leno’s not leaving.

He rolled with the audience pretty well during his monologue, which consisted of SNL Weekend Update-like soundbite jokes.  (The Roots also participated in Slow Jamming the News.  Their performance made me think they’re showing up strictly for a steady paycheck.  I’ll chalk their awkwardness up to inexperience on live late night talk shows.  It’s been awhile since Max Weinberg started on Conan O’Brien - perhaps he was just as awkward.  Wait.  He always looked awkward and played it to great effect.)

Target Demographic: Blonde Mothers, a taped bit, was pretty funny.  I just can’t recall any “highlights.”  Boosh!

Lick It For Ten was a dumb game show where three audience members licked a lawnmower, an all-in-on printer, and a fishbowl (complete with goldfish!) for ten bucks.  I guess Conan had his share of lame concepts, but he learned to play off the lameness for extra humor.  Fallon’s still in SNL mode, but maybe he’ll get there.

(Rihanna in a commercial for Cover Girl?  Too soon to joke?)

His first guest was Robert Deniro and he made some early jokes at Deniro’s expense, with Deniro’s involvement, of course.  Deniro’s not the most glib of interviewees, but Fallon did way more talking than interviewing.  They even ripped off an old joke from SNL gag where they impersonated each other.  But I’ll forgive him, and time will tell how he’ll do with other guests.

Space Train, a short sketch if I ever saw one, was funny.  It was a clip from an “unreleased movie” starring the pair.  Fallon’s character was afraid to fly into space, and Deniro was the space train’s conductor.  This paragraph is longer than the bit.

His second guest was Justin Timberlake.  Much better.  Too much revelling in the old SNL days, and not enough interview again.  But I can’t wait for The Phone - JT’s new MTV show where people get phone calls and their lives are turned upside down for 24 hrs. to win $50,000.  A car blows up in the preview – SOLD!

(FYI: JT also does a mean John Mayer and Michael McDonald impression, even if he’s singing about Bud Light Lime.)

Last guest – Van Morrison.  Good if you think Van Morrison is good.  Is he the Brown Eyed Girl guy?  Looked it up.  Yes he is.

Early predictions for the show:

• Fallon will probably get better as time goes on.
• His sketches will probably get more tongue-in-cheek, than tongue-on-lawnmower.
• The Roots will leave the show six months from now.

“Who Cares?” – A LOST Review

THAR BE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

The quote in the title refers to probably Ben’s most deadpan lines ever.  When asked by Jack what will happen to the rest of the passengers on the plane ride to doomsville a.k.a. The Island, Ben utters, “Who cares?”

Last night’s episode, “316,” was the best of the season so far, and here’s a few reasons why:

• The Oceanic 6 are now the Ajira 5 (maybe more, maybe less)… and they’re back on Oahu The Island.
• Ms. Hawking (Dan Faraday’s Ma, ‘natch) explained a little miniscule bit about how the Dharma Initiative finds said other place.
• Frank Lapidus is back!  I saw Jeff Fahey’s name in the credits, but I wouldn’t have expected him to be piloting Flight 316.  Been a big fan of the Lawnmower Man since his days as The Marshal.  Always happy to see him.
• Loved the opening shot on Jack’s opening eye!  Of course, it’s an homage to the pilot episode/movie (and early seasons).
• John Locke gave Jack an “I told you so” of sorts from beyond, via a letter he wrote before committing s-u-i-c-i-d-e?!
• And the closing shot of Jin, driving Hurley’s pre-beat-up, pre-repair-job minibus (actually, it was Ben’s Dad’s van, a.k.a. Workman)… in the past?

Overall, it’s great when shows like this get back to basics – especially when this show gets back to basics (like halfway through Season 3 after the mess that was Season 2).

Now for the SILLY THEORIES portion of our show.

• Who beat up Ben?  Answer: the missing 6th member of the Oceanic 6 – lil’ Aaron.
• What did Sayid do to get arrested and brought aboard in the same fashion as Kate?  He shoplifted the pooty.
• How did Hurley know about the flight?  Well, this is kind of serious, but I’d guess Charlie the Friendly Ghost.  I said “kinda.”
• And finally, will Jeff Fahey and Matthew Fox unite to star in We Are the Marshal?  One can only dream.

Bale Family Guy Out!

Oh, Family Guy… you’re sooooo on the cutting edge of comedy.  And so is TYismyIV, so yay!  Kismet!

SNL Real-Time Review – Alec’s Back!

11:35pm – Dan Aykroyd, yay!  Cold open, boo!  I don’t know if Dan’s just a bit rusty, or if he didn’t get enough prep time, but any laughs he elicited from the audience were almost out of pity or happy memories or a mixture of both.  It didn’t help that the bit wasn’t all that funny.  It tried to make fun of Obama’s recent plans and actions and turn them into some future positive spin for Republicans when they fail.  The skit failed.  Horribly.  Kristen Wiig Counter: 1

11:40pm – Alec Baldwin thanked Christian Bale for taking some of his heat (for calling his daughter a “rude, thoughtless, little pig”) and made further fun of himself.  Kudos.  He introduced Jack McBrayer from 30 Rock and did one of the sometimes funny, sometimes tired Q&A sessions.  Getting sleepy.  Wiig Counter: 2

11:45pm - Baldwin as one of the Jonas Brothers named Gary.  If you thought Britney Spears was a bad actress, triple that.  And yeah, that one Brother is 100% gay (which one, you ask… take your pick).

11:53pm – The Cougar Den – Introduced the concept of a CouGay, which is ho-hum ha-ha, and brought back original skit cougar, Cameron Diaz.  Thank god the boyfriends weren’t the Jonas Brothers.  WC: 3

11:59pm – Digital Short – Damn.  Jonas Brothers again.  At least Andy Samberg found a way to limit their acting and in turn make them mildly entertaining.  In the skit, Samberg confronts them with an old VHS cassette featuring them performing in the 80’s, and he wonders how it’s possible.  It turns out a wizard granted them eternal life.  That’s the joke, folks.

12:01am – Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Photo Shop – Bring your photos in to have back added to the photo.  Abby Elliott’s shown, but has no lines.  Don’t think Wiig is in this one.  I wouldn’t be either.  Mix-a-Lot was used much better in this:

12:07am – Jonas Brothers perform and I assume this will be the only time I ever see them.  Well this and later in the show.

12:13am – Weekend Update - Angelina Jolie returns (via Abby Elliott)!  Michaela Watkins as Angie Tempura blogger of BitchPleeze.com gets chuckles.  Joaquin Phoenix appears (via Jason Sudekis) and bombs worse than he actually did on David Letterman.  Seth Meyers’ closing joke garners the biggest laugh – “If you’re at home watching this Valentine’s Day episode, better luck next year!”  At least he didn’t say anything about blogging.

12:26am – Vincent Price’s Valentine’s Day Special – Baldwin plays Richard Burton.  Meh.  Wiig Counter ups to 4 with her awesome portrayal of Carol Channing.  It rivals her Bjork from last week.

12:35am – Business Meeting – Different excuses to cancel an appointment.  Good lord, please end.  Thank god, it did.  I’m getting ready to watch last’s week’s 30 Rock on Hulu.

12:41am – Definitely watching 30 Rock.  Jonas Brothers are introduced by Baldwin’s rude, thoughtless, little pig?

12:45:am – Wii Game – First, a Mix-a-Lot skit, then Liberace gay jokes, and now a Wii masturbation bit?  Did they go to the file cabinet for these ideas?

12:49am – Chewable Pampers Commercial – I saw this already somehow.  Maybe it was online, but still…  Well, I guess, yeah, it’s kinda funny.  Mostly the different flavors.  WC: 5

12:52am – Virgania Horsen’s Hot Air Balloon Rides – Not as good as her Pony Express.  WC: 6

12:53am – First Coughs – Probably the best skit, where Baldwin’s DVD teaches you how to foreshadow your death in a movie with a slight cough.  Saying it’s “probably the best” isn’t saying much.  I’m trying to remember if there was a cough earlier in the show that foreshadowed this episode’s death.

12:58am – Disappointment sets in.  Onto 30 Rock!

SNL Update Has The Best Stuff – A Video Highlight

Bradley Cooper was the host of last night’s Saturday Night Live.  Who? What? Why? you might be thinking, but my suggestion is to pretend it didn’t happen.  Here’s quite possibly the best bit of the night:

more about “Hulu – Collections: SNL with Bradley …“, posted with vodpod

 

 

Otherwise, the other highlights would be Seth Meyers’ solo run at Really?!? regarding Kellogg’s dropping their sponsorship deal with Michael Phelps after the pot smoking incident, and Kenan Thompson playing Pittsburgh Steelers’ James Harrison, who broke a Superbowl record returning an interception the entire length of the field for a touchdown.